Thursday, February 02, 2006

Han Solo shot first

The U.S. military has developed a laser-beam weapon that can obliterate a target with no collateral damage. Currently the laser is mounted in a C-130 Air Transport plane.

However, we all know what comes next:

I have no idea why some people are afraid of technological advances, particularly in the area of weapons. Weapons are tools, and good tools are better than bad ones. Guns, in particular, should be the symbol of female emancipation. Before the gun, the weapon of choice was a sword or a bow. Both of them require upper body strength and size, which men have in greater abundance than women.

Then came Winchester, and if I might paraphrase: God saw that this was good.

The repeating rifle that Winchester created in 1860 gave women, for the first time, a weapon that negated men's greater size and strength. Within nine years, Wyoming had given women the right to vote and in 1920, the 19th Amendment gave women sufferage across the United States. Did guns give women the right to vote? You bet they did. They allowed women for the first time to show that their brains were the equal of men's, once you removed the inequality of size and strength.

The United States, one might argue, is founded on the principle that all men are created equal. This was not the case when brawn ruled the earth. Only after the advent of the gun did the philosophy follow the fact. In places on the earth where guns are taken out of the hands of ordinary citizens, people are soon reduced to helpless wretches. (Sorry, Britain, but facts are facts.)

So bring on the blaster! I want one with rosewood handles and Frank Frazetta girls engraved on the stock.

"Hokey Religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side."

That's right, Han. Now how do you aim this thing?


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